Meat poppet, a poppet of meat.


 

meatpoppet

Yep. Meat. Poppet. It’s devastating in practice. I decided to post this only because I’ve seen what I did, and damn is it effective. Keep in mind you are using raw meat in this poppet. Please make sure you wash your hands before and after the creation of this poppet so you don’t end up with E.Coli.

Materials

  • 1 lb of ground meat. I chose hamburger because it is cheap and plentiful.
  • ½ yard of cotton fabric. Use whatever color you think fits. I prefer white, black, or flesh tones.
  • Needle and thread
  • People poppet pattern (make it as detailed or un-detailed as you like. I default to a basic gingerbread-man pattern)
  • A chicken heart, if you have one available. If not, whatever.
  • Sharpie
  • Extra thread

What the fuck do I do with all this?

1.) Make your poppet: Sew it together. As you hand-stitch your poppet, remind it what it did to piss you off. For example, as you stitch, speak/mutter/think loudly “You are [insert name here] and you done fucked up. You did [insert thing here].” Use your sharpie to mark it with their real name, face, details, etc.

2.) Stuff it half full of meat. If you have one, shove your chicken heart in there. Fill it up the rest of the way with meat. Now your poppet has a greasy, nasty meat body, just like in real life!

3.) Name your poppet, and give it life. Ya’ll probably know how to do this if you’re doing poppety things.

4.) Bind that fucker up. Take that extra thread and tie their arms together. Bind their legs, blind them, wrap up their mouth. Whatever.

5.) Here’s the fun part: Chuck that poppet into the street, onto railroad tracks, into a shallow grave- whatever. Make sure wherever you throw it, it will be destroyed. Busy streets and railroad crossings work well.

6.) Enjoy the rapid deterioration of your target’s life.

Your mileage may vary.